Saturday, July 25, 2009
Lameness or Fun :D
You know how people are always right about everything? How we have an uncanny ability to dispense with a theory, with some words of wisdom that undoubtedly always prove right? And how we are really, really awesome in suits?
Well I can't believe I'm saying this because i've taught so much and u guyz owe me the world, but I think I'm going to respectfully disagree on a serious relationships.
If ur in love the more serious you get, the more it seems like birds are singing, angels are jumping from cloud to cloud, and little kids are playing tiddlywinks in grassy fields or whatever they do.In Reality ur actually turning gay.
All im Sayin is Love aint As Fun as it Seems its kinda Lame after U had ur Run in the Sun.After Days of Research I come to a conclusion that the More ur in Love the More Lame u get.So U wanna be Lame or Awsomely Awsome its For u to descide!! :D
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Knock On My Door
I recently encouraged my best friend, to observe the “Three Day Rule” regarding when to call a chick after getting her number. The popular wisdom is that by waiting three days to re-establish contact you can fool her into thinking you’re not as desperate as you probably are. It’s a solid strategy and a good rule of thumb for amateurs but there’s a more technical approach for intrepid souls that requires both advanced expertise and polished skills… the “Four Day Rule.”
If I girl gives me her number, doesn’t that mean she wants me to call her? Why do I have to wait so long?If you call a girl right away and other guys follow suit, eventually women will expect timely correspondence… and that’s an unnecessary burden for everyone.
Okay, then why don’t I just wait a week, or a month, or even a year? Waiting a week makes her think you were too scared to call and a month makes it seem like you’re even more desperate than calling her the first night.I scored a few phone numbers over the weekend and I’m worried I will mess up the days and call too soon or too early. What should I do? Spreadsheet. Heh.
Okay, I’ve waited ninety-six hours. When’s the best time to call her? Call during the middle of the day. You’ll have a better chance of catching her voicemail, and then, with any luck, the ball will be in her court. If the gods are in your favor, you might even be able to set something up without ever actually having to talk with her.
Everyone I know swears by the Three Day Rule. Why are you such a proponent of the Four Day Rule? If everyone you know has heard of the “Three Day Rule,” then you can rest assured that women have heard of it, too. By waiting an extra day, you can really make that random chick feel unique.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
ARE YOU SUFFERING FROM FEELINGS?
What Are Feelings?
Feelings are a tender emotional state that develop when a male becomes fixated on a single female to the exclusion of others.
Early Warning Signs
When you’re around one particular chick, you experience:
•Pounding Heart
•Dry Mouth
•Nausea
•Inability to speak
•Sweating
•Desire to say flattering things
If undiagnosed, these warning signs can quickly develop into the full blown disease…
Symptoms
•Warm fluttery feelings in stomach
•Lightheadedness
•An unexplained urge to watch Love Actually
•Sudden increase in cuddling occurrences
•Brunch cravings
•Explosive monogamy
•Happiness
•Failure to notice other hot women
•Crosswording
Transmission
Though correlation remains scientifically inconclusive, studies indicate “hand holding” may play a role in spreading Feelings from one person to another.
Treatment
Get a life and a Hobby :D
Best time to tell the truth
We all know how tellign the truth always gets u into trobule,so i figured there are only three appropriate venues for expressing one's emotions. I call them the 3 D's: Dinner, During Sex, Deathbed.
DINNER: Your girlfriend wants you to express your feelings? Fine. Cover her hand with your own, look deep into her eyes, and tell her in a soft voice how you regret not ordering an appetizer. This action is international girl-speak for "I am revealing the secret depths of my soul," so it doesn't have to be about appetizers -- any honest feeling you have about the quality of food or service will have her eating out of your hand.
DURING SEX: One of the seemingly infinite benefits of sex is that there's so much activity, coordination and noise, you can get away with saying almost anything*. Thus, sex is the ideal time to honestly express doubts about your employability, gambling addiction, or even your long-term relationship potential.
DEATHBED: Since it's really tough to be mad at someone who is about to die, your deathbed is an excellent time to really go bananas with your feelings. Insecurities, infidelities, incisions...anything you've kept hidden over the years can be freely discussed with little fear of retribution. As an added bonus, some girls enjoy a sensitive side and become easily confused when faced with the grim certitude of death...play your cards right and you might be able to squeeze two in that deathbed before the buzzer goes off. (NOTE: For all the above reasons, feigning your own terminal illness and deathbed scenario can be a cathartic experience).